


Anything for my Everything

by Jenifer_Cullen



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x17 spoilers, 3x18 trailer, Angst, Heartbreak, Loss, M/M, Sacrifice, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-07 12:15:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18410453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenifer_Cullen/pseuds/Jenifer_Cullen
Summary: Alec makes a deal with Asmodeus in order to get Magnus' magic back. How much of a heartbreak will this really bring?





	Anything for my Everything

**Author's Note:**

> So, I saw tonight's episode and the trailer for tomorrow's and I just really needed some good angst. so here I am, uploading a fic at 1 am when I clearly should be studying for my exams that are going on.

“A Shadowhunter? In my realm? Who would’ve thought,” Asmodeus drawled out as he leaned back against his throne watching every movement that Alec made as he slowly walked towards the king of Edom.

“I’m not here to make conversation, I’m hear to make a deal,” Alec replied, gruffly, standing in his soldier stance. Asmodeus rolled his eyes as he uncrossed his legs and crossed them back again.

“And what would that be, Shadowhunter,” he asked, curious. “I’m here to get Magnus, his magic and his immortality back,” Alec replied. Asmodeus’ eyes flashed at his son’s name.

“You must be the Lightwood that made my son weak,” he replied leaning forward a bit, scrutinising Alec. “I’ll do it, under one condition. End your relationship. Break his heart to save his life,” he continued, leaning back nonchalantly.

Alec stared at him intensely. He wasn’t ready for that. He’d expected his runes, his life, servitude, but not this. His soldier stance wavered but he got it back up.

“You sure you wanna do that? He lost his home, his position and his magic. I’m the only thing he has left. You really want him to lose me too?” Alec questioned, hoping that Asmodeus did not notice the slight break in his voice as his heart thumped vigorously in his chest.

“Well, if you agree to the terms, he’ll get his magic back and the rest will just follow, won’t it. Besides, he’s shown you want he wants most and it’s most definitely not you. My son was fine before you and he’ll be fine after. It’s not like it’ll take him long to find a new shiny toy to play with,” Asmodeus taunted.

Alec fumbled, doubt taking root in him as Asmodeus continued, “He’s certainly not happy with you. You are not enough, Shadowhunter. Your feeble mortal life to his everlasting magic, there is no choice, really,” he examined his nails, uncaring of Alec’s internal breakdown.

Alec weighed Asmodeus’ words. While he knew Asmodeus was just trying to manipulate him and plant doubt in his head, he also knew that Magnus needed his magic more than he needed him. He wasn’t enough and that was okay.

Alec steeled his resolve and looked straight into the eyes of the Greater Demon, “I’ll do it. But I know you. If you go back thinking you can bring Magnus back here when he’s emotionally vulnerable, I will come back here and _end_ you,” Alec replied, calmly but Asmodeus could see the fire behind the words.

“You have my word, Shadowhunter,” he replied, “But, you need to do the deed first.” The greater demon then proceeded to summon a portal, “Your way out of this place,” he said, tired pointing at the portal, sitting back comfortably in his throne.

His smirk and his eyes unnerved Alec, but he had a heart wrenching task to perform, so he jumped into the portal without a second thought. Alec landed right outside the Institute’s wards.

He walked towards his room with a heavy heart, but he concealed it. He opened his room to see Magnus packing up. It had been a week since the fateful supposed to be proposal. Alec had planned to visit Asmodeus earlier, but Magnus needed him and he couldn’t bear to part with his boyfriend when he was so vulnerable.

But during the week, they managed to find an apartment to stay in. Everything was done and Magnus had already prepared to move in. So had Alec, all his things were packed neatly into boxes.

Alec chuckled bitterly, what a waste of time packing them. When Magnus turned to him, he put up his mask and smiled. “Hey, you all done?” he asked. Magnus nodded; he was nowhere near being ok but moving into his own place would definitely help.

Alec moved in to kiss him, savouring it and mentally making a note of it, what with it being on of the last times Alec would ever feel Magnus’ lips on his. His heart clenched at the inevitable pain both of them was bound to experience.

“Let’s move all your stuff in first. Mine’s easier to move in so we can save that for the last,” Alec suggested. Magnus raised an eyebrow, “Are you calling me a hoarder, Alexander,” he asked, in good humour.

This time Alec’s laugh came naturally, “Of course not, but even if you were, you’d be my hoarder,” he said. Magnus smiled up at him, his eyes looking like the stars themselves had made themselves home in them, “Always, my Alexander.”

They spent two days moving Magnus’ things into the new house, arranging and organising them. “Well, we’re all done with my things now. It’s time to bring your stuff inside, my darling,” Magnus said, placing a hand on Alec’s chest.

Alec’s breath caught in his throat. They’d moved all of Magnus’ things in. This was it. He’d helped Magnus as much as he could but now, it was time to break his own heart to get one more thing for the love of his life.

Alec moved in to kiss him, one last time. A tear slipped down as he pulled apart. It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. He could never have enough of Magnus.

“Alexander, what’s wrong?” Magnus questioned, worry colouring his face. Alec smiled him, sadly and held Magnus’ hands in his, “I’m not moving in,” he said, bluntly.

“Of course, it must’ve tired you out to organise all this. I should’ve noticed, darling. We can move in your things tomorrow. How about we give the new bed a spin, instead,” Alec whispered, moving a hand to Alec chest which Alec pushed away, still holding it.

Magnus looked up at him confused, “What’s going on, Alexander?” Alec brought Magnus’ knuckles up to press a kiss on to it, cherishing the feel of Magnus’ skin against his lips, feeling the loss of what could’ve been when he glanced at his ring finger.

“I’m not moving in, ever, Magnus,” Alec clarified.

“Alexander, you aren’t making sense,” Magnus replied, panic rising in his chest as he looked at the sad smile that rested upon his Alexander’s face.

Alec broke seeing the look on Magnus’ face and pulled him into him, wrapping his arms rightly around his frame as hot tears made their way down his face, “I love you, Magnus. I love you so much.”

“I lov—” Alec cut Magnus mid-sentence, “No, don’t say it back. Don’t make this harder than this has to be,” Alec’s voice broke, a lump forming in his throat.

“Alexander, what’re you talking about?” Magnus questioned.

Alec hugged Magnus close, not wanting to see his face as he shattered his heart, “I love you so much, baby. Which is why I have to do this. I know you love me, but I also know I’m not enough.”

“Alexander, I don’t understand, of course you’re enough, my darling,” Magnus tried to sooth the crying shadowhunter in his arms. Alec shook his head, “No I’m not, and that’s okay.

“But because of that, I need to do something, for you. For your happiness,” he leaned back to look into Magnus’ eyes which were glazed over, “Magnus, we can’t be together anymore.”

“What?” Magnus’ voice was quiet, disbelieving.

“You were right. You’re not the same person you once were. You’re not the man that I loved. When you went to Edom, I told you to come back, but you didn’t.

“You left a part of yourself behind, your magic and now, you’re not happy. It’s my fault. I know you will say that it isn’t, but it is. So I’m doing the one thing I can to make you happy. I’m leaving. I won’t . . .” Alec stuttered, “I won’t come see you again. I won’t kiss you again.

“I can’t give you everything you need and you don’t deserve that.”

“Alec, no, that’s not true,” Magnus shook his head, his heart clenching painfully.

Alec looked at him through the tears in his eyes, “I know you want to believe that, but you know it isn’t true. I thought I could give you all you wanted while being with you, but I can’t.”

He took Magnus’ face in his hands, the face marred by tears and he continued on, sobbing, “Just remember I love you and I had to do this, for you. There was no other way. I will never love anyone else, ever.

“But this is how it has to be,” Alec took in a deep breath and fumbled in his pocket for the Lightwood ring, “This was supposed to be yours. It was meant to mean something else, but I guess, it’s not possible now.

“And I know I could never give this to anyone else,” Alec said, pressing the ring into Magnus’ palms. “I love you, Magnus. I love you so much. You are everything to me.

Alec chuckled, bitterly, “Seems fitting I have to lose my everything to give you yours. Just, remember I love you and this was for the best.”

He pressed a hard kiss onto Magnus’ forehead. Magnus grabbed on to him, “Please, Alexander, tell me what’s going on. We can face it, together. You are my everything,” he cried.

“I’m not, and that’s okay. These past months with you were the best of my life. Don’t cry, Magnus. Everything will be fine soon. You’ll see,” he whispered, wiping off Magnus’ tears and pulled out of his hold.

“I love you,” he said one last time, memorising Magnus’ every feature and then walked out the door. Magnus fell on his knees and left out a cry. He’d officially lost everything.

Then he felt something surge through his body. Magnus snapped his finger and blue enveloped his hands. The warlock looked back at the door in horror, “Oh Alexander, what have you done?” he whispered.

The hole in his heart created due to losing his magic became something else. Heartbreak engulfed him as he stared at his hands and cried.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I did cry while writing this. I'm weak I know. Hope you liked this and don't want to kill me. Leave a comment below to validate my emotions, even if you do want to kill me.
> 
> Author Out  
> Jen


End file.
